A TUTOR IN LOVE.

HERBERT FAGG, Instructor in Greek, )

ARMAND FAGG, a Senior,

brothers.

Miss HEBE HEATH, a young lady from Boston in the Annex.

ACT I.

SCENE I.

HERBERT FAGG, alone, with several books under his arm.

At last my work is done; now may repose

Steal quickly to my weary intellect,

And bring surcease of care.

(Sings.)

I write and speak pure Attic Greek

Like Hesiod or Menander,-

And I can twist an aorist

As well as Alexander.

The accents too, I early knew -

Properispome from t'other

Most often known as oxytone, -

So unlike one another.

I do not hate to conjugate

The future perfect passive ;

And I peruse the 'O???

That epic poem massive.

And as for prose - why, heaven knows

I love my Aristotle

Much better far than my cigar,

Or even than the bottle.

Anacreon for me is fun,

And so is old Plotinus,

And of the rules they teach in schools

I know the whole blest genus.

I toy with roots that are the fruits

Of students' deep conjecture;

Of mood and tense I give the sense

At every Freshman lecture.

'Tis true! 'tis true !

The language of the Parthenon is mine,

And were Diogenes and I to meet

I could reply to all his questions. But

I have forgotten that one duty more

Compels me to be off. First must I go

And teach the ladies in the Annex, then

My cares are wholly ended for to-day.

Exit.

SCENE 2.

A room in the Annex. Miss HEBE HEATH alone, standing by the blackboard.

I think that tutor is in love with me.

Ah, what are Grammars to a soul on fire!

I will not flirt with him - such conduct would

Not suit my dignity; I'll only try

Whether his Greekship can withstand the glance

Of beauty - for by every one I'm told

My face is fair as Aphrodite's own.

But soft - he comes. I must pretend to write.

Enter HERBERT FAGG.FAGG. Good-day, Miss Heath, you always are so prompt;

It shows the interest with which you come

To master Plato's tongue. Now, if you please,

We'll read a part of the Apology

And construe ev'ry passage.

Miss H. Who would not

Delight in learning from so clear a mind?

FAGG. That's flattery to which all men are prone,

Now we'll begin. That Alpha there is wrong;

As Curtius says, an Eta it should be.

Miss H. (Aside.) Most learned man!

FAGG. (Aside.) I do believe that I

Have met at last a sympathetic soul,-

One of those beings more than half ideal -

Of that enough. Now to proceed, Miss Heath:

The structure of that sentence there is hard,

And I at once will it elucidate.

Miss H. None could, believe me, half as well as you

Explain the dative here of interest.

FAGG. (Aside.) There's something more than scholarly respect.

Displayed by her meek glances. Can it be

That she, too, is imbued with Eros' fire?

Enter in pairs the whole Annex singing this chorus after the manner of the Greeks.

We are the daughters

Of Goddess Minerva.

We are proficient

In elliptical curve, or

The science botanic

And language Germanic.

French and theology,

Sanskrit, geology, -

These are but pastimes to maidens like us.

Dante and Goethe,

"The Sorrows of Werther,"

We easily read with no fuss.

Algebraic quadratics,

Advanced numismatics,

And chemistry, too, we delight in;

But as for astronomy

And domestic economy,

These we are wonderfully bright in

Then hear, O Minerva,

Each diligent server

Of liberal studies and thee!

Grant that each maiden

With wisdom deep laden

For ever thy vestal may be!

Curtain falls.

ACT II.SCENE I.

ARMAND FAGG, and Miss HEATH.

ARMAND. O Hebe, how can I to thee repay

The joy that thou has granted me this hour,

And pledged to be my wife! Words ill express

My deep emotion and my gratitude.

Miss H. No more, Armand, I beg; my blushes tell

My joy, my hope, my happiness, to thee;

But ere thou goest sing again that song.

ARMAND. Love, I must go, though I could stay for ever.

(Sings.)

The Senior swears off cigarettes,

He goes to recitations,

He flirts no more with coy coquettes,

Nor cuts examinations.

He settles down to toil and work,

Fulfils all requisitions,

He spends his money like a Turk

To get off his conditions.

Why has he thus his habits caged

That were before so rapid?

Because, in sooth, he is engaged,

And all the rest is vapid.

Exeunt.

SCENE 2.

The Annex. Instructor FAGG and Miss HEATH.

FAGG. (Aside.) Nay, nay, I must my pristine courage show

Faint heart, they say, has never won fair lady.

I will disclose that passion which consumes,

And she, so good, so fair, will mercy grant.

Miss Heath, before we conjugate that verb,

I wish to speak upon a subject which

To me is weightier far than any Greek.

MISS H. (Aside, triumphantly.) So Aphrodite has Minerva conquered.

FAGG. From boyhood up, I sought some helpmeet kind,

But none but you have ever pleased my taste.

I never loved before, nor shall again

If you requite not my devotion now.

Miss H. I - really - Mr. Fagg, don't understand.

FAGG. (Sings in dulcet tones.)

Come, live with me and be my love,

And I will talk to thee in Greek;

I'll teach thee dithyrambic verse,

And in dactylic measure speak.

Come, live with me and be my wife,

The verb to love let's conjugate;

Our thoughts and wishes we'll annex,

And laugh away the wrongs of fate.

Miss H. I fancy now I comprehend you, sir,

You ask me your affection to return.

Alas! I can no foolish promise make;

But I will love you as a sister loves,

Since to your brother I am just engaged.

Utter confusion of Instructor FAGG.

Curtain falls.