A VISIT TO THE CHINESE PROFESSOR.

A REPORTER of the Crimson started a day or two ago to interview our new Professor of Chinese. That dignitary was found at his house, in the bosom of his family; and upon learning the object of the reporter's visit, was very cordial in his tone and manners. He awoke his interpreter, who was just finishing a delightful opium reverie, and opened a long and interesting conversation, of which the following is a summary:-

Reporter (salaaming in the most approved fashion). How do you like Cambridge?

Professor. Me likee Camblidge heap good. Me no likee paddy - lookee in window allee timee - muchee staree in housee - bad.

Reporter. I am sorry that the muckers should annoy you; but you mistake the object of their curiosity. The reverence felt for men of education in this country is so great that we, even, follow our professors to their homes, to catch glimpses of their benign countenances.

Professor. Oh, me no fixee that much. No more slingee water on paddies.

Reporter. How does this residence compare with yours at Ning-Po?

Professor. Belly much big; Melican he fixee nice house. Teacher man (professor) tellee me belly few men ever livee in this house. Me thankee him. Feelee belly big - heap honor. -

Reporter. Yes: very few have resided in this mansion; the College has been very careful about that; and that they should put you in here, is a testimonial, not only of their belief in your high abilities, but of their confidence in your health. Shall you attend prayers this coming year?

Professor. Oh no! no, no! me fixee Chinaman's joss on table, and say big players in bed. Belly nice - heap comflable.

Reporter (with an eye to worshipping in same way). Can you admit converts to your religion?

Professor. Oh yes! shavee head - makee big cue - heap good.

Reporter (concluding not to join). Oh yes, very good. You might bring the joss question before the Faculty. You could make a fortune on josses, if the Faculty should vote for your style of prayers.

Professor. Yes, me see. You say in paper, me no washee-washee - me teachee. Melican's wife sendee clothes to washee. Me heap mad - say damme.

Reporter. Shocking blunder! But, sir, how do you propose to carry on your elective, and what system of marks shall you adopt? I have here a marking-machine that has been employed with great success. It is warranted to turn out minus quantities, and to never give above seventy.

Professor. Me no catchee what you speak. Me markee bully. Me askee boy (student!) You likee rice? Boy say yes; he rushee no flunkee, me givee big mark. Boy say no; he deadee, no squirtee - me give little mark.

The professor then kindly showed the reporter a large folio volume, which contained the introduction to the Chinese language. The professor said that he had left the other nineteen volumes in Ning-Po, as he did not expect that any "Melican boy would fixee intluduction in tlee years." He then subscribed to numerous copies of the Crimson, including one for the Emperor. He assured the reporter that Memorial Hall would be too expensive for himself and family; and furthermore, he was afraid that the food would be too rich.

At this juncture the professor's fourth child, whose name we, unfortunately, have not room to print, began to bawl. The conversation was interrupted. The humane father proceeded to hang the child up by his cue to a peg on the Hospital's wall; and the reporter seized the opportunity to withdraw.