RECIPE FOR MAKING A BOYLSTON PRIZE AWARD.

FIRST catch your judges and assort them carefully. Pick out some plump and tender specimens, and mix with them a few thin and tough ones. If possible, have one or more of them boast that he knows nothing about speaking. Next proceed to make a small hole in the skull of each judge and draw out his brains. They are now ready for use. Place them under a slow gas fire from the speakers for two hours or more, and then remove them to another apartment. Plunge them at once into a stewpan, sprinkle in a liberal allowance of pepper, and let them simmer for just one hour by the watch. If the award now appears sufficiently cooked, garnish it with greens and serve up with plenty of sauce. Smother the groans of the audience with onions and sage, and replace the brains of the judges. Soak their heads for half an hour in a bucket of cold water, and consign them to a hot place for future use.