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GROWLER came rushing into my room one day, and flung himself into a chair.
"Now what is the matter?" I asked.
"My semi-annuals are finished, and so am I."
"Look here, Growler, I won't hear another word about the marking-system."
"Did n't you advise me to take that history course, and Philosophy 7, and all the rest? You've postponed my degree indefinitely. I followed your advice, and elected four hard three-four courses for my Junior year. I knew I should have to work several evenings out of the week, but that would leave time for calls and society and the theatre. Very well. One morning near the beginning of the term I had all my recitations cold, - I had four that day.
"I went into German, and was informed that a large amount of reading at sight outside of the regular work would be necessary, if I wished to make progress. Of course I wanted to make progress, so I determined to give up one of my theatre evenings to German at sight. Then I went into Greek, and was told that the history of the period must be worked up before the mid-year examination. Well, that was n't so bad. I could give up a few of the afternoons that I had intended to devote to calls. I went into political economy next, and learned that a long thesis would be required of each member of the elective after the Thanksgiving recess. I was glad that it was postponed until then, - I could devote the recess to it.
"I was a little out of spirits at lunch that day, and growled at the butter; but you scolded me, as you always do, and I got cheered up in time for my afternoon recitation in history. I was called up and made a rush, and the instructor asked to see Mr. Growler after the recitation. I was delighted, - doubtless he was going to compliment me.
" 'Mr. Growler,' said he, 'I have been much pleased with your recitations.'
" 'Indeed, sir,' said I, 'I'm sure I've tried hard.'
" 'Yes; I've noticed it, and as I have no doubt but that you have a good deal of spare time, I'm going to ask you to write up a little thesis - say about a hundred pages - for next Tuesday.'
" 'I should be happy, sir, but - '
" 'But what, Mr. Growler?'
" 'I have a theme next Tuesday.'
" 'Well, a week from next Tuesday.'
" 'I have a forensic then, sir.'
" 'Mr. Growler, I'm disappointed in you. I expect men who take my course to be willing to work. I see you are not anxious to profit by your history. Very well, sir, if you do write the thesis it won't add anything to your mark. If you don't, I shall take off twenty per cent. I mark according to the state of a man's health, the size of his head, and my general idea of the time he goes to bed. I give the highest mark to the man who gets worst used up by the course. You are looking altogether too well, and unless you become excessively pale by the end of the year, I shall feel obliged to condition you. Good day, sir.'
"I went to my room in sadness. The mail had arrived. There were several bills, and invitations to two sets of assemblies. Bills always come in when you are unhappy, - have you ever noticed it? I wrote two notes declining to attend the assemblies, and several more declining to pay the bills. Then I went to work. Themes, theses, forensics, examinations, kept crowding upon me. The half-year is over, and I am alive; but hang me, if I ever take your advice again!"
Growler is an ungrateful fellow. I fear that he exaggerates slightly. I am sure all this extra work is useful, and I have the greatest confidence in the judgment of the Faculty. But what if Growler's health breaks down? I shall be to blame. It is well to be conscientious and elect hard courses, but if anybody ever asks my advice again I shall say, "If you want to get the greatest good out of your college course, and are prepared to bear the scorn of mark worshippers, take solid electives. But if you want to shine upon the rank-list and have a Commencement part, devote your time to ethics and the modern languages.
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