A BISEXUAL SYMPOSIUM.

Time, 2000 A. D.

Scene, MEMORIAL HALL.

Small round tables set for six each, a bouquet at every other plate; attractive waitresses, with French caps; the Vienna ladies' band in the gallery playing airs from the latest opera-bouffe; the statue of President Quincy on an elaborate pine-wood pedestal in the middle of the hall; near him that of Presidentess Smith, decolletee.

Enter MR. JOHN BROWN and MISS SARAH JONES, Sophomores.SHE. Come, Jack, you must hurry through your dinner in two hours and a half, for I've engaged you for the first waltz. (Beckoning to the attentive waitress.) Are there really no other soups but Bisc a la Reine and Consomme?

A WAITRESS. Yes; there is Julienne.

SHE. Is that all? I shall have to leave the Hall; it's almost as bad as Mrs. Morgan's, when poor, dear great-grandpapa was in college. Was n't that a charming dress that the presidentess wore at her recitation in Etiquette 13, this afternoon?

HE (languidly). I cut.

SHE. Do look how Marie's muscle shows in evening dress, since she has been pitching for the Nine; really, she ought to wear a fichu. Jack's dress is too elaborate; since he's been in College House he spends all his time in prinking. By the by, I'm going to make you give up that course in Juvenal; I shall never let my brother take it. The Deaness can change you to French 2 under that pretty French instructress, - Gustave Droz and Alphonse Daudet.

HE. What do you think of Fine Arts 2? We had a very interesting lecture to-day on the collars of 1879, illustrated by an antique portrait, inscribed PACH, of a real college boy.

SHE. It's not as hard as Fine Arts 1. I had to design a costume for the crew; I gave them the most delicious pull-backs, and caps with cardinal ribbons, - each girl has a waterproof ulster, of course. Since the coxswain took Cooking 8 she has grown so fat that we've had to send her to Brown's.

HE. What a brace there was in last Saturday's gymno-calisthenic meeting! There were two entries for heavy-weight dumb-bells, - to be sure, one of them strained herself while lifting a two-pound dumb-bell.

SHE. I think the girls had better not box unless they can keep their tempers. That little Spanish Freshwoman, Pepita de Garbansos, knocked the puffs off Susie Flairup's head, and then Susie scratched her, and they both burst out crying, and had to be soothed by the Stewardess.

HE. Speaking of puffs, yours looked horribly when you rushed into prayers at 11.05 yesterday.

SHE. Well, nobody looks at us girls, since the Junioresses from Cancan 15 have taken charge of the musical exercises. If I see you trying to catch the end coryphee's eye again, I'll drop you.

HE. You've got no right to talk, since you have had private instruction in Flirting 3 from Herr Winkerman.

SHE. Finish your maraschino, Jack; it's half past ten, and they're clearing the hall for the waltz.

M. R.