THE CALENDAR REVISED.

THE meetings of the gods and demi-gods are held every Monday evening. (The thunderbolts forged on this occasion are hurled on Tuesday afternoon following.)

Sept. 25. - Grinds begin work.

Sept. 25. - Law-pills are rolled. Memorial Hall opens its Architectural Exhibition and Grand Ethiopian Circus.

Sept. 26. - The Freshman Class passes his examination for the Scientific School.

Sept. 29. - Formerly known as Bloody Monday, but remembered now only by timid Freshmen, primed with a course of "Fair Harvard," "Student Life," and "Hammersmith."

Oct. 26. - Class Races! Eighty-two's hard training is rewarded; so is Eighty's.

Nov. 1. - Fall Meeting of the H. A. A., when "it is to be hoped our records will be improved."

Nov. 27. - Thanksgiving Day. The Freshman (if he is very flush) goes home and tells his admiring mamma how '83 is the finest class in college.

Dec. 1. - About this time the summer's good resolutions begin to peter out.

Recess from Dec. 23 to Jan. 2. - The Freshman swings his earliest cane and talks of "the men of '83." The Sophomore astonishes his governor with his knowledge of wines. The lady-killing Junior digs up the tomahawk and begins to count his scalps. And the Senior furtively tries on a beaver for Class Day.

Jan. 31. - The day before the Semis. This night the foolish collegians who have tarried all the autumn on field or river, till the examination, buy oil for their lamps and put on an immortal brace ere the morrow cometh.

April 18. - Last chance to draw in the great collegiate lottery presided over by the Bursar. Tickets from $25 to $300. Prize in every package.

June 20. - Class Day. Dress-coats at a premium; spreads; girls and fireworks in the Yard.

June 25. - We bid good-by to '80.

June 26. - '84 is born.