A TENDER STORY.

I WAS a little disgusted when I came back from my Thanksgiving holiday, and found no fire in the grate and on the table an accumulated pile of circulars and bills, -a gilt-edged note from my tailor, which I took for an invitation; a postal card from a Sunday school; another with the College arms on it; and the rest advertisements, notices, and what not. The room was cold, dismal, and dusty, whereas I had fondly hoped that my chum would be back before me and have everything snug and comfortable. With the charitable intention of making him light the fire, I had taken just as long a vacation as the "law allowed and the court awarded," and not to find him here was indeed a sad disappointment. There was no help for it, however, so down I went on my knees, and raked and poked and worked away until at last there was a bright blaze; and just at that moment, lo and behold, in walked my chum.

"Well!" said I, "it strikes me that you have come back mighty late. I suppose you wanted me to warm the room for you?"

"Never crossed my mind, I assure you. Let me make the fire," answered he, looking first to see that his offer was a safe one.

"Halloo!" said I, "where did you get all these ashes on your hat and coat, and what in the name of all that's good makes your hands so black?"

"Thereby hangs a tale. I'll tell you as soon as I can make myself presentable. Well," continued he in a moment or two, "you know I went to Boscos. That village has particular charms for me just at present, and perhaps you can guess why I lingered and lingered until the last train had gone and my only hope was to catch the express as it stops for a moment at Boscos bridge. It was a breathless and stilly night, the tide at its flood but as calm as a lake, reflecting myriads of stars, that seemed arrayed in full force to act as proxy for the moon, who was on duty at the antipodes. I had nothing to say to the gawky youth that pulled me across the water to the buttress on the further side of the estuary; but sent him back, and clambered and groped my way alone some sixty feet up the steep hillside. Dirty, tired, and out of breath, I reached the roadway, and a few minutes' walk brought me to the spot where I calculated the train, as required by State laws, must stop. Lighting a cigarette, I sat down on some lumber piled alongside the track, and rested myself. I heard the monotonous sound of my Charon's oar-locks die away in the distance; there was an occasional bark from some far-off farmer's house-dog at intervals that made the silence more supreme, and my thoughts, mounting the fumes of my cigarette for their hippogriff, galloped away as only reveries can speed at the end of a particularly interesting holiday." And here my chum poked the fire, smiled, and then went on impressively.

"A glimmer up the road, indistinguishable at first from that of a star in the horizon; now scintillating, now increasing. A faint hum ! a louder and a louder whir! A blaze of light, a screech, a stop, and I am conscious that the express is there, and has pulled up but for a moment. Blinded by the glare, still half in dreamland and wholly confused, I spring upon the train The wheels once more revolve, and I turn to go in, - no door! I rub my eyes, and discover, but too late, that I am between the tender and the baggage-car, with no refuge on either side; get into the car I cannot; to climb over the piled-up wood of the tender is impossible. I give up my hat to a sudden blast of wind. Now comes a demoniac shower of fire, - the grate is open ! A swarthy Vulcan rakes the ashes, and another throws in the wood, - Arcades ambo ! I cannot see ; innumerable particles of fiery ashes fly into my face. Frenzied, I pull my hat over my eyes, and - "

"Hold up a minute!" I interrupted. "But I thought you said that your hat blew off."

"O yes, so it did," replied my chum, hastily. " I meant to say that I pulled up my coat-collar, and with -"

"Then how is it that you 've got your hat now? " There was a suspicious twinkle in his eye as he answered." All in good time, my dear fellow. I'll explain that to your satisfaction by and by - If we go on this way we shall get to hair-splitting, which is unprofitable, you know. Don't ask irrelevant and awkward questions, but let me go on with my story. Where was I ? O yes. Well, I pulled out a handkerchief, and with both hands dusted the sparklets from my face and shoulders. At last, thank Heaven, they shut the door. A curve, - a jerk that would have thrown me off, had I not been clinging on for dear life.

"Little by little the pile of wood on the tender was diminished, and finally one of the attendant gnomes, peering over it, caught sight of me. He disappeared for a minute, and then two heads peeped over the pile. The train was at once slowed down, and one of my discoverers dragged me roughly and unceremoniously through the side door into the baggage-car, where the conductor, baggage-master, expressman, and a dummy were playing cards on an upturned trunk.

"'Please, sir,' said my captor, 'I 've nabbed a sneak thief trying to steal a ride on the back of the tender!' 'What!!!' said the conductor, 'you can't come that dodge on me ! No deadheads on the 10.40 express, I can tell you. Pay ten dollars at once, sir!'

"What did you say to that?" I asked.

"Not having the aforesaid sum handy, I offered to take dummy's hand and play for it," said my chum. I whistled incredulously.

"Well, you need n't believe it, you know, but I tell you I not only paid my ticket that way, but I won ten dollars from the baggage master besides."

"Very well, then," said I, "suppose you pay me for those books I got last week."

This settled it; my chum stopped, looked up, and laughed.

"What put all that into your head ?" said I.

"The poetical inspiration seized me when standing on the platform of the sleeping-car last night. The practical and material conceptions were suggested in the coal-closet. I came back here only to find the fire out, and while I was trying to shake out the ashes I heard your step. I thought I would let you finish the job, and therefore jumped into the coal-hole. Much obliged to you for this cheerful blaze, by the by. Can I do anything for you ?" "Yes," said I, "you have a prior right to the management of this fire, so suppose you fill the scuttle."