Brevities

"I WOULD RATHER SEND MY SON TO THE WORST COLLEGE IN THE SOUTHEAST, WHERE MY LEADING-STRING WHIMS ARE HUMORED, THAN TO THE BEST UNIVERSITY IN THE NORTHWEST, WHERE HE WOULD BE ALLOWED TO PLAY IN THE STREETS AFTER NINE O'CLOCK, AND BE TAUGHT THAT EVERYTHING DEPENDED UPON DOING HIS DUTY AND BEHAVING HIMSELF." - Dr. M'Bosh

For other readings see any Western exchange.

THE demand for Gray Heliotypes has been so enormous that Mr. Palmer finds he cannot devote the necessary time to their sale, and has made over that part of his charge to Mr. Sever, who will continue the sale at his store, at Mr. Palmer's prices. Mr. Palmer will still have the general supervision of the prints, inspecting each copy before it is offered for sale, and fixing the price. The price of the heliotypes was intended to be just the cost. But when the contract was made, Mr. Palmer had not the slightest expectation of selling so many as he has. A slight profit has thus been made, which enables Mr. Palmer to construct the stand in the Library, and furnishes Mr. Sever with a small inducement to undertake their sale.

MOTTO for Famished Commoner when invited out to dine: Lay in Macduff, and damned be he that first cries I hold enough.

IN athletic sports Harvard seems to be suffering greatly by accidents. In the last issue of the Magenta mention was made of the serious injuries of two of our boating men. Since then, Mr. J. M. Sheahan, catcher of the Harvard Nine, has had the misfortune to break one of his fingers. This accident will incapacitate him for his position behind the bat, thereby very much weakening the Nine. Just at this time, above all others, is his loss most seriously felt.

THE second of the Bowdoin Prizes for the best dissertation, competed for by resident graduates, has been assigned to Mr. C. L. B. Whitney.

PRIZES for the best dissertation by members of '72 and '73 have been assigned to Eliot Lord and C. T. Russell, Jr., both of '73.

A PRIZE for the best classical translation into Attic Greek has been given to Mr. A. C. Richardson, '73.

SCENE, APPLETON CHAPEL After the hymn and before the prayer.

AGED PROFESSOR (to student at end of bench). Why is yonder organ like unto a widow?

ASTONISHED STUDENT. Give it up!

AGED PROF. Verily, because it needs re-pairing!

(AST. STUD. blushes behind his pocket Bible.)

PROFESSOR AGASSIZ is making arrangements to obtain the services of a distinguished naturalist for those students interested in natural history who propose to elect the course marked Zoology. The name of the gentleman is, for reasons best known to Professor Agassiz, at present withheld. It is sufficient to know that he stands among the first in his profession.

THE annual Phi Beta Kappa supper, which came off the evening of May 8, was an event of much interest and pleasure to the members of the ancient and honorable society. The wit did not flag, the songs were sung with spirit and received with hearty applause, and the walk from Boston, in the early morning, was made pleasant by moonlight and invigorating air. Not materially disturbed by the attentions of officious "peelers," with Auld Lang Syne and a ring in front of University, the party broke up.

The II H oration and poem will be given in Massachusetts Hall on the last Thursday of the month. Orator, Mr. W. M. Groton; Poet, Mr. J. C. Goodwin.

ONE of our most prominent literary societies was greatly amused the other evening at hearing one of its shining lights assert, in debate upon the Modoc war, that the only way for our government to deal with the wary red man was to pursue a similar course to that adopted by William Tell in his Treatment of the Pennsylvania Indians. Somewhat later, a member accused the president of the society of having abrogated all the authority in the matter. But our Biblical editor got right up and came away when the orator began to talk about the guiding spirit of faith which supported Isaac in his sacrifice of Abraham. Whither are we drifting? (Since writing the above, a Western exchange has named the precise locality in language which our Biblical editor, being a Unitarian, objects to.)

THE University Nine will play a match game with the "Bostons," on May 21, at Boston, and with the "Princetons," on May 22, at Cambridge.

THE day for the Beacon Cup races, originally appointed, was May 31; but as the second game between Harvard and Yale, on Jarvis Field, is fixed for the same day, the races are postponed until June 2.

THE Yale Freshmen have refused to play our Freshman Nine unless they are allowed to take Sheffield S. S. Freshman also. Our Academic Freshman Nine have sent a second challenge, offering to play against their University Freshman Nine on any grounds in Massachusetts or Connecticut, and giving them a liberal share of gate-money if they will play on the 17th. This day is not convenient for Yale, and, after a great consumption of the electrical fluid, no definite answer has at present been obtained.

AN unfortunate mistake was made in regard to the "Liber Studiorum" prints in our last issue. The set bought for the collection is complete, and is one of the thirty-two similar sets found in Turner's house after his death.

SCENE, History Recitation. Instructor and dig in the foreground; populace asleep.

INSTRUCTOR. I am sorry that the text-book gives no fuller account of this extraordinary man.

DIG (wistfully). Are n't there any other works to be obtained, sir?

INSTRUCTOR. Yes! - no - yes! You may obtain at the Library a very good autobiography, written by himself, which -

IN future it will be well for undergraduates to uncover themselves when about to address the watchman. We have reason to believe that neglect to do this, twice repeated, will be construed into "systematic insult of a college officer."