A METAPHYSICAL MILL.

I DO not know whether it was an unusually hearty dinner or fatigue from grinding up metaphysics that put me to sleep one afternoon and gave me this dream. I have been able to trace most of it to the influence of metaphysics. It seemed to be February again, and our instructor had told us to procure tickets at the bookstore for a series of lectures three times a week for the rest of the year on the "Manly Art of Self-Defence," by Professor W. Hamilton, of England. It was a rare chance to procure scientific knowledge of the subject; and Lister at $20 a dozen lessons was nowhere. The lecture-room had a raised platform at one end, on which the Professor stood, and the walls were adorned with prints of ancient and modern athletes. There were Herr Milo, of Croton, the renowned deadweight lifter; M. Dares and P. Entellus, as they stood in the ring on the 12th of April, 1182 B. C., drawn by P. Virgil Maro, "Clipper" correspondent; Professor Socrates, in his great standing feat; portraits of Mr. Aristotle, Mr. Leibnitz, and Mr. Kant, all noted boxers.

The first few lectures were on the dignity and importance of the art, and explanatory of the scientific terms. The Professor was very philosophical in his treatment of the subject. He divided it up into motions of attack and defence, and then into motions of attack and defence for each part of the body; and each motion he analyzed into positions at its beginning, middle, and end. He claimed that these divisions were his own, and the only philosophical ones, - and there was a tendency among the audience to consider him conceited, for there was much ego in his speech. He took much trouble, too, to discuss the opinions of his predecessors as to the proper motion in each case, always differing from them, and to explain his views he used practical illustrations. "Now, gentlemen," he would often say, "this I consider to be the only philosophical attack in such a case. But others have entertained different opinions, the foolishness of which I shall show you immediately." Turning to an attendant, he said, "Bring up Professor Reid." The attendant brought in a thin, white-haired old man, evidently the wreck of a once noted pugilist who had died out of the fighting world. He was bound hand and foot, so that it was impossible for him to defend himself. Not a muscle moved; he preserved a stolid indifference as our lecturer squared off in front of him, and (in the language of the "Clipper" reporter, who sat next me) "let out his bunch of fives, caught him on the nob, and drew the claret profusely." "See," cried the Professor, "It is impossible for him to resist that attack!" It was, indeed. These exhibitions of brutality were made two or three times every lecture, until Professor Reid's features were wholly undistinguishable, and he was inclined to doubt the testimony of his own consciousness. Mr. Stewart, too, whom Professor Hamilton had also used for purpose of illustration, but much more tenderly, had received severe punishment; while Dr. Brown had been knocked senseless the first time he appeared, and had been seen no more.

It is impossible to give any idea of the monotony which attended these lectures. If we only had had an opportunity to bet on which would win, the Professor or Reid, we might have kept awake voluntarily; but even that feeble excitement was denied us. Dread of an examination was all that kept us from going to sleep. And the dread was fully justified by the examination when it came: "In a certain case, what is the defence advocated by Reid and Stewart, and what are Hamilton's objections to it, - explaining, also, his defence?" "Give in full the rules of the P. R." Six questions like these were certainly enough for one hour. Happy he who could draw, who understood perspective and foreshortening! I tried diagrammatic representations, and got the ring and appointments complete, but the arms and legs of the fighters were inextricably mixed. Which was hitting, and which was hit, nobody could tell. It was the end of the hour, and I had just finished the third question, when I woke up.

THREE SEAS.